Big Bernard had an appetite
For food that was all greasy.
To feed his face on fat-fried food
Was something he found easy.
Grease wasn’t just a word to him,
(in spite of Frankie Valli).
If someone had a sausage
He would suddenly get pally.
He knew it wasn’t healthy
And it filled him with remorse,
But when he went on holiday
He went to Greece of course.
At first he ate Greek salads,
To please his wife, not nark her,
But then there came that fateful day…
…Big Bernard tried Moussaka.
He couldn’t get enough of it,
It left his wife quite puzzled.
She told him it was crazy
But he guzzled and he guzzled.
A month of such indulgence meant
His shape got really freaky.
At last he just exploded…
…. Just committed Halkidiki