Pull yourself together lad,
You look a proper sight.
You haven’t had a shave for days
You’re staying out all night.
You never ever brush your hair,
Your clothes are always scruffy.
You wear those great big clompy boots
To make you look a toughie.
You never say a civil word.
You mumble when you speak.
In bed all day, then up all night,
You’re like some zombie freak.
Just because you have no job,
No need to be a loafer.
There is another world out there,
Just get up off the sofa.
You never use your brain at all,
I’ll bet that it is rusting.
You burp and fart and bolt your food
It really is disgusting.
It seems to me you just don’t care.
You think you’re Jack the Lad,
But all these little things you do
Embarrass us, Grandad!