Archive for the 'Means to an End' Category

Beach Ed Wail

Eddie Spade loved sandcastles. He built them all the time. He entered competitions whilst young, and in his prime. He cruised the beach-art circuit, Skegness to St Malo. He revelled in a contest. He always had a go. He won rosettes and trophies, had accolades galore. In sand-based architecture, his skills were to the fore. But […]



Dyson With Death

Old Albert was a fairground man. He had it in his blood. He always chose the fastest rides to go on if he could. But then one day he passed away whilst whirling on the waltzer, but if you thought that was the end, that surmise would be false, sir. We found a crumpled, grubby […]



Last Dance

Little Larry Lightfoot Was slightly round the bend. One night he went out dancing With Emily, his friend. But Larry was compulsive And once the dancing started, It seemed that Larry and his dance Could simply not be parted. He quickly put his left leg in And then he took it out. And then he […]



Peninsula Woes

Percy Poot loved Portugal And used his cooking skills To open up a business In the Algarve’s craggy hills. He called his venture “Percy’s Place” And offered local menus, At prices that took no account Of other local venues. “I’m better than the rest of them” Was what he seemed to think, But no-one came […]



Greek Tragedy

Big Bernard had an appetite For food that was all greasy. To feed his face on fat-fried food Was something he found easy. Grease wasn’t just a word to him, (in spite of Frankie Valli). If someone had a sausage He would suddenly get pally. He knew it wasn’t healthy And it filled him with […]



Time to Fold

Cecil the contortionist Was getting rather old. His suppleness was in decline. He found it hard to fold But when his agent said to him “you’re heading for the sack” it…. Spurred him to a desperate act, To prove that he could hack it And so he stood upon the stage, Grim-faced without a word […]




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