Archive for the 'Gory Stories' Category

Chicken Ticker

This is the tale of Surgeon Brown, A transplant man of some renown. One day, whilst strolling through a wood He chanced upon a pool of blood. Beside it lay a severed head, And close at hand, the body – dead! The clue to this calamity Lay propped against a part-sawn tree. A chainsaw, wielded […]

Total Recoil

Tim Trotter was a hypnotist, Performing on the stage. He should have been successful As these acts are all the rage, But Tim, he had a problem; People thought he was a fake. The reason why was clear to see, His subjects stayed awake. With swinging watch and steady stare He gave it his best […]

Ring Fence

Barney was a kangaroo boxing in a booth. He wasn’t any good at it, and that’s the honest truth. This Roo was so cack-handed and so unco-ordinated, That the damage that he did himself deserved to be X-rated. One day he fought a swagman who just danced and jumped and Jinked. Poor Barney hit himself […]

Many Unhappy Returns

A nasty youth called Elvis Widgeon Ate his Father’s racing pigeon. He killed and cooked it out of spite ‘Cos he and Dad had had a fight About his boozing and his clubbing. Elvis got a proper drubbing. So Elvis got some satisfaction Watching Father, in distraction, Searching for his pride and joy, Not knowing […]

Now You See Him……..

This is the tale of Denzil Drudge, Who, all his life had borne a grudge About the fact he was ignored By people, who were clearly bored When in his presence, (which he lacked). No-one noticed him. In fact He even bought a Trilby hat To get attention. Even that Was not enough to fix […]

The Slab

The drip and the cold, The wet and the white, And the voices, the whispering, the questions. Where was I from? How long dead? How long since they took me from the water? They look at my eyes, My mouth, My skin. My guts have gone already. And tomorrow?…….. I stink, therefore I am. Who […]

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